The Wedding Album Effect

I recently wrote an article for my good friend Robert Johnson, and you can view it here at Robert's web site, Practicing Theology. Enjoy!

It's Been a Long Time...

I haven't posted for a long time, and I'm not sure how I feel about my blog these days.  I am busy, and the blog just doesn't get as much of my attention as it used to.  I like to write, and I want to do it more, but it's a lot of work, and I'm not as naturally creative as I once was (at least I don't feel as creative).  It probably doesn't help my blog's cause that I write sermons every week, and much of my writing energy is devoted to that cause.  In light of everything I just wrote, I'd still like to keep this blog around because it contains much of who I am and what I've thought over the past three years.  It has been a cathartic outlet, and has, at times, kept me sane.  I may not post a whole lot anymore, but I will continue to utilize this free and therapeutic outlet.

Here's a quick update on life in the not-so-blog-heavy Hayes family:

• Kim gave birth to our 5th child on January 7th.  His name is Quinn Michael Hayes.  Quinn means "wise", and it also means "five."  Hopefully he'll turn out to be our "wise 5th child."
• Quinn's middle name, Michael, is a tribute to my best friend, Mike Spratt.  Mike died several years ago of a heart attack at age 33.  He was a fine person, and I miss him dearly.  His memory lives on in my child, and I can't wait to tell little Quinn about the great man who inspired his middle name.

• I've continued writing on the side, and have had some small successes recently.  In October the study guide for Erwin McManus's book, "Uprising", was released.  I had the privilege of writing the study guide, which accompanies a dvd series produced by Blue Fish TV.  Very exciting!

• Grace Community Church, where I serve as Sr. Pastor, is a wonderful place, and Kim and I are enjoying our new church a lot.  There is a ton of potential at Grace, and we're starting to realize some of that potential.  People are still coming to church in spite of me.  Despite the struggling economy, Grace is in solid financial condition.  Even more, we're tackling some of the problems that exist in the Corsicana community, and are starting to make a dent in the world around us.  That's what it's all about!!
• My two oldest children, Trent and Cale, are excelling in their new school, First Baptist Academy of Dallas.  Both boys have made the honor roll, and Cale, in particular, is making tremendous social and educational strides.  We're blessed to have an opportunity to send our kids to this fine institution.

My little fishing buddy, Cale!

Trent and a large bass!

• Pierce, our autistic son, is struggling a bit these days, mainly due to the fact that his favorite person, Mommy, is a bit off limits since having a c-section.  Pierce has still experienced enormous growth, but he's having a rough go of things as of late.
• Jillian, our one and only girl, is an absolute delight.  She is pretty, funny, and in complete control of her Father's emotions.  The child has me wrapped around her cute little finger.  I'm so happy we had a little girl!
• Timothy Keller is making a huge impact on my life.  Keller is pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, and is author of 4 books and contributor to many others.  His most recent book, The Prodigal God, is destined to be a classic.  Keller's focus on service, mercy, and the beauty and surprise of the gospel is transforming my soul.

O Holy #$*&%!

OK, folks, it's that time of year. It's time for my favorite Christmas song performed by my favorite artist of all time. I don't know his name, but he's a genius. Listen and enjoy the most beautiful version of O Holy Night you've ever heard:

Click here to listen

Surprise!!

I'm doing a 4 week series this month called "Surprise!" I've challenged my church to wake up each morning for the next 30 days and pray these three words: "Surprise me, God." I also had journals printed up for them and have asked them to record God's activity in their lives. I can't wait to see what happens! I started a new blog to chronicle what happens in my life as I set forth on this new experiment. you can read it here.

When I was a kid, Christmas was always surprising. Now that I'm a grown man, not so much. I've heard all the stories and I know what to expect from this culture during this season. Seems like the surprising birth of Jesus has been buried by other things. I'm hoping this little experiment will change all of that. Perhaps it will shake the dust off of this season and bring a refreshing and simple perspective to the Christmas event.

My first surprise entry is below. I'm dying to see what the next month will bring.

____________________________________________

So, I did it. I woke up this morning and asked God to surprise me. It felt risky and a bit scary. It also felt good to just say it. Most of the time when I pray I'm pretty much saying a lot of the same things that I always say. It was good, for once, to pray something different and unusual. Can't wait to see what happens!

My first surprise hit at about Noon when I spoke to Kim on the phone and she reminded me that we had to go to the First Baptist Academy Christmas party that night. Ughhhh. A Christmas party with a bunch of people whom I hardly know. Sounds dreadful. Add to it the fact that attending this Christmas party would be infinitely inconvenient. I was ready to pull the plug on this whole deal. Kim also informed me that there would be a $20 fee to attend. That was all it took to set me off.

"$20! So, let me get this straight. You have to drive home from Dallas, drop the kids off, freshen up, and then you and I have to get in the van and drive all the way back to Dallas to go to a party that we have to pay to attend? It isn't enough that we have to pay for gas and a babysitter? We need to back out of this thing! I'll go, but I'm not going to be happy about it."

We climbed into the van at about 5:30pm. By 6:35, we were lost in Oak Cliff. The directions Kim had been given were a little off, and we were aimlessly touring South Dallas at night. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

Somehow, by sheer dumb luck, we managed to navigate our way to the party. It was at a little restaurant called Eno's, and it was nestled in a quaint and beautiful part of South Dallas (the Bishop Arts District). Apparently one of the graduates of Kim's school owns and operates this wonderful Italian tavern. If you have the chance, check this place out. The atmosphere is amazing.

We entered the party and enjoyed some really good pizza, pasta, and - get this - they had root beer on tap! After our meal, everyone got a root beer float, and it was heavenly. We sat with the head basketball coach at Kim's school, and he was a delightful person. We talked for at least an hour and a half, and he told me all about his hometown of Roswell, New Mexico. Yep, Roswell is where all those supposed alien sightings occurred. Supposedly the governement has some secret alien laboratory hidden in the Roswell area. Urban legend? Depends on if you like The X-files or not!

Anyway, God managed to surprise me in spite of my horrible attitude. He showed me that long, irritating, inconvenient journeys sometimes lead you to the best, most enjoyable surprises. Isn't that the whole lesson of the Israelites journey to the promised land? I guess sometimes you have to wait to judge the journey until you've reached the destination.

Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow!!

Random Stuff

Feeling foggy today.  Tired.  Lonely.  Discouraged.  

Here are some things I'm pondering:

• I've been doing a series lately on the book of Proverbs called "How's Life?"  It's been extremely challenging to my congregation and me.  Proverbs is a book full of very direct moral platitudes.  I am not a person who prefers to think in these terms.  I'm a wrestler who tangles with issues and leaves room for the grey areas.  Proverbs has no patience for this kind of thinking.  I am not a Proverbs kind of guy, but I've learned a tremendous amount from this series.  It reminds me of something of GK Chesterton's that I read: "There are many, many angles at which one can fall but only one angle at which one can stand straight."  Proverbs is a book of straight angles.
• Although this series has been really good, our attendance has declined.  Not sure what that's about, but I'm trying not to let it discourage me.  It's not working very well.
• We're trying to get Pierce's therapy covered by insurance.  It's a daunting task.  Insurance is like toilet paper: You don't particularly like it, but you're glad it's around when you need it.
• It's that time of the year when people's lives start to fall apart.  Not sure why that is, but I've found that this time of year brings with it a lot of pain.  Like the leaves fall from the trees, so the joy seems to fall from the lives of many people as the holidays approach. Part of what I do is help rake the leaves into a pile and encourage people to jump in them.
• This commercial cracks me up.
• I recently bought two books that I can't wait to read (reviews are forthcoming).  The first is "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller, and the second is "Jesus Wants to Save Christians" by Rob Bell and Don Golden.  Tim Keller's book is destined to be a classic.  I've read half of it, and it is in the same vein as classics by CS Lewis and AW Tozer.  It's just an amazing book.  Rob Bell's book seems like a pretty significant can of worms that I'm curious to open.  I'll tell you what I think after I've finished both books.
• I'd rather watch The Steeler's vs The Redskins than go to elder's meeting.  I'm pretty sure God doesn't like me very much.
• LSU is playing Alabama this weekend.  Nothing would make me more happy than to see the guy on the left beat the guy on the right.
• Unless Barack Obama goes on a Jeremiah Wright-style rant on Monday Night Football, he'll probably be the next president.  We'll see if hard hitting reporter Chris Berman will ask something that will turn the tide.  
• Soccer season is finally over.  Thank the sweet Lord!

New Site Alert!! Check it out!!

My good friend Robert Johnson has recently launched a new web site called Practicing Theology. Robert is a gifted person with the mind of a theologian and the heart of an activist. I thought this article on his web site was particularly striking. I can't imagine the struggle of a young black man who is wrestling with race and conviction in the current presidential election. If you want an honest view of faith and issues, check out Robert's new site.

Check Out My Latest Article!

I'm going to be a little giddy and self-promotional for a second (Hey, let's face it... why else would anyone have a blog?). For years I've wanted to write and contribute to something worthwhile. Well, I finally have my chance, and my new article that I wrote for the Small Group Exchange is up! You can read it here.

The Small Group Exchange is a resource for small group leaders all over the world. It's an off-shoot of Blue Fish TV, who produces great video resources for churches and small groups. I'm excited to be a contributor, and blessed to work for such a great group of people!

Pretty exciting stuff for a small church pastor in a funny little Texas town! This blog has helped me a ton with writing, and I probably would have never even tried to write for anything else if I hadn't started this thing on a whim. If you're out there reading, thanks a bunch for the support!!

Our Lord in the Attic

I'll never forget the day that my wife, Mother, sister and I went on an expedition in Amsterdam to find an off-the-beaten-path tourist attraction known as "Our Lord in the Attic." The only remaining "clandestine church" in Amsterdam, "Our Lord in The Attic" is a typical canal house designated by its narrow rooms and multi-floor design. The attic, however, displays an ornate and lovely cathedral. The Catholics, banned from worship in Amsterdam after the Reformation, met secretly in attic cathedrals. Witnessing this truly unexpected marvel of architecture and beauty was one of the highlights of our trip to Amsterdam.

It was the walk through Amsterdam's infamous red light district, off of which "Our Lord in the Attic" sits, that made this trip singularly unique. I mean it's not often that you have the chance to walk down a street flanked with hash houses and brothels with the three most sainted women in your life. Filling the uncomfortable role of having to distract your Mother from noticing hardcore sex shops is not what typical sonship requires. Polite hash refusals are not what you expect to hear from your wife. Witnessing these naive women marvel as they stood before a brothel that boasted window shopping for prostitutes was something I would've never imagined. It was the most surreal moment of my life.

Like a divorcee trying to avoid her ex, I embarassingly shuffled my "girls" through all the debauchery as quickly as I could. We finally made it to the other side, and anxiously entered the museum. Still reeling from the barrage of images, we walked ourselves through each narrow room and up each steep stairway. It was a nice place, but a bit boring and uninspiring. By the time we reached the third floor I was ready to move on to a real exhibit, like the Anne Frank House or the Van Gogh Museum. Why were we waisting our time touring this boring little place? And to think all the junk we had to pass just to get there!

Our steepest climb came as we worked our way to the fourth floor, the attic. The stairs seemed to go straight up to the ceiling. At the apex, we entered a room so surprising and magnificent that it almost made me forget all that had come before. The attic revealed a miniature cathedral the likes of which I had never seen. The ornate carvings, marble columns and intricate paintings that filled this room were spectacular. I was immediately moved by the holiness of this place. To think that persecuted people sought refuge in this little slice of heaven was sobering and moving.

We stayed for a while, soaking in the complete otherness of this magical monument. We didn't talk much. Words would have only cluttered such a pristine moment. Finally we whispered our goodbyes and navigated the narrow, stair lined path to the outside world. I felt like I was dreaming.

Back on the street I thought of the two worlds I'd just experienced. One full of carnality and hedonism and the other so serene and holy. I was saddened by the fact that these two worlds existed in such close proximity to each other, but never overlapped. The church, though no longer facing the threat of persecution by reformers, still met in secret, fleeing a wholly different kind of threat. Perhaps the worst place for our Lord to be during times of religious freedom is in the attic.

Many churches could probably change their street address to "attic." Instead of proclaiming "our Lord in the open", or "our Lord in the neighborhood", or "our Lord on the street", most churches keep "our Lord in the sanctuary", or "our Lord in the fellowship hall", or "our Lord in the prayer room". Thankfully God didn't take this approach. Instead, he sent our Lord to our world so that our soul might find freedom. Our Lord can't afford to be in the attic any longer. He was never intended to be there in the first place.

Buy This Book

My friend, Mike Foster, wrote a book, and it is now available for purchase. I haven't read it yet, so I'm not sure if it's good, but I know that Mike is very cool and creative, and the book is probably those things as well. Way to go Mike! You inspire me.

Go buy Mike's book. You can do it here.

Statistically Speaking

So, as I mentioned in the previous post, we're having our fifth child, and it is a boy. We're certainly excited about this surprising turn of events (this was not planned, and the little guy fought through a lot of barriers to get here!), but we're also a bit frightened. Scientists estimate that, in families with one autistic child, the risk of having a second child with the disorder is approximately five percent, or one in 20, which is greater than the risk for the general population. There's also a much greater chance of Autism in male children as opposed to female.

These kinds of statistics can make you crazy. The thought that something might be wrong with your kid is already the ambient noise in your mind, but any slight rise in the probabilities brings this background thought to the forefront. Five percent's not a lot, but it's enough to make you lose sleep. You lose sleep because you're not real sure you can handle another one. You're pretty sure you can't handle the one you already have.

Pretty amazing how a 5% chance there might be a problem virtually erases the 95% chance everything will be fine! If you told me I had a 95% chance of winning the lottery, I'd run - not walk - to the local Quickie-Mart to buy a ticket. Shoot, I bet I don't have a 95% chance of making it to work in one piece, but I still make the three right turns that get me there every morning (right out of my driveway, right on Northwood, right on Beaton).

Point is, you can't live life statistically. If you did, you'd probably never drive a car, get married or eat any of the various foods that will, statistically speaking, give you some terrible disease. The only statistic, in the end, that really matters is that God is 100% in control. Doesn't really make it easier to sleep at night, but it'll do for now. The longer I live the more I have to cling to this life-giving statistic. It helps me make it through about 85% of the time!

Tigers Beat Tigers!!

What a great game between LSU and Auburn! LSU looked like they were in BIG trouble in the first half, but the coaches pulled out all the stops and THE Tigers took home the victory! Jarrett Lee, LSU redshirt freshman QB, pulled himself together after an early interception, and showed great poise and impressive arm strength in leading LSU to the comeback victory. And watch out for Charles Scott! The guy has rushed for 100+ yards in every game this year, and he looks like the best LSU back I've seen in a while.

#6 LSU - 26 #10 Auburn - 21

Normal Surprise

I've been thinking a lot lately about surprise. Seems these days that new and unexpected things happen too often for the term to fit. When surprise becomes the norm, perhaps the norm becomes the surprise. For instance, I was more surprised by the fact that I got to enjoy a relaxing day of football watching and general laziness last Saturday than I was when my son developed a finger infection that looked like what I would think leprosy might look like. Saturdays like the one I described used to be the norm. Grotesque finger infections used to be surprising.

This ironic twist in the way I view surprise is not unique to me. We process change at such a phenominal pace that surprise is more defined by simplicity than complexity. We are surprised when things are quiet in our audio barrage. We are surprised when the pace of life is manageable rather than overwhelming. We are shocked by the regular and at home with the fantastic.

We found out the other day that our fifth child will be a boy. When we tell people about it they are surprised. They're not surprised by the fact that we're having a boy; they're surprised that we're having a fifth child. They look at us like we've grown a third eye. They say things like "You do know what causes that, don't you?" Uhm, yeah, we do know what causes "that" (although we're somewhat surprised when time permits such activity).

Isn't it funny that we've come to a place in society where sexual intimacy between husband and wife that results in conception and child birth is surprising? Isn't that the natural outpouring of this sort of union? So we've come to a place where what is natural and common sense is surprising. Interesting, don't you think?

All of this leads me to this thought: How does God surprise us at this particular place in time? How do we (the church) surprise others? God used surprise throughout Scripture. Abraham faced the surprising (and terrifying) murder of his own child. David was the kind of surprise pick for King that would have made the Sarah Palin VP nomination look humdrum. Paul was shocked full circle on the road to Damascus. Jesus' surprise birth, surprise death and surprise resurrection were, well, surprising. So what is God up to now?

Perhaps He's standing behind the tree you're about to walk up on with a noise maker and a bag of confetti, just waiting to jump out and yell "Surprise!!" Kind of ridiculous, right? Of course He's not behind a tree with confetti, but He might be in the next cubicle with the guy who's marriage is falling apart because of a porn addiction. He might be with your daughter's teacher who's secretly struggling with insecurity because of her experience as an abused child. He might be in the coffee shop with the college kid who's so unsure of his future that he's thinking of ending his own life. After all, it's not surprising that people are dealing with painful lives. What's most surprising is that God's people aren't there for them. Not sure He'd have gone through such trouble surprising us if He'd have known how unsurprising we'd be.

Where can we look today to be surprised by God? What can we do today to be God's surprise?

Palin Breaks the Mold and Confounds Both Sides... and I love it!!

The world has gone insane (Not that this is news to any of you). Since Sarah Palin announced her intention to become Vice President of the United States, craziness has ensued. Hard core liberal women have suddenly decided that women can't do everything they dream of doing, and are best suited at home with their kids, and hard core conservatives have suddenly decided that a whole new world of professionalism exists for women, even those with 5 children. Seriously, what's the world coming to?

My good friend (and mother of 3), Tempi, sent me this article discussing the pros and cons of Sarah Palin's VP aspirations. Personally, I like the lady. If she and her husband think they can handle it, it's really nobody else's business to tell them otherwise. Time will tell if liberals are ready to treat a strong, independent, professional, tough-minded woman, who - oh, by the way - has five kids and a Christian value system the same way as they would any other woman running around Washington in a pants suit. Time will also tell if conservatives are ready to say that women with 5 kids should leave the traditional role of house wife behind. Both ideologies are having a tough time being consistent with this one, and that makes the world go crazy.

Meanwhile, I am sitting here rubbing my hands together with a twisted grin on my face. I love it when people actually have to think through things for a change instead of simply buying in to what "liberals" or "conservatives" have to say. It's extremely entertaining for me to see so many contradictions on both sides. I love it when folks like Sarah Palin come along and break all the stereotypes. It's good for America.

Pit Bull Palin Wows the Political World

Before the proverbial ink was dry on my last post about Barak Obama, Sarah Palin storms to the stage of the Republican National Convention and delivers a whale of a speech. In the most intense and nerve wracking setting possible, under the scrutiny of the media and the watchful eye of many unconvinced Americans, Palin stood with all the poise of an unflappable veteran and ripped off the speech of her life. In so doing, she may have built a dam high enough to impede the progress of the Obama tidal wave.

Like a sports team who grasps victory from the jaws of defeat, the Republican ticket - though not quite achieving victory - has certainly gained a tremendous amount of momentum. Sarah Palin has come pretty darn close to matching Barak Obama's star power, but she didn't do it by becoming a media darling. Instead, she pole vaulted over an impossible bar and put her party back in the fight. The next few months are going to be very interesting.

I found two things about Palin's speech extremely refreshing:

• Mrs. Palin spoke very genuinely to the families of Special Needs children. I can't tell you how much it means to my wife and I to have an ally of this stature on our Special Needs journey. Her words to Special Needs families were like honey. She, perhaps more than any other candidate that I can remember, knows what its like to serve the neediest of all people. I find that extremely compelling.

• It was great, for once, to see a female stand on stage in something other than a pants suit. Finally a woman in the presidential conversation who actually looks like a female. I don't think anyone can doubt her toughness... She's a pit bull with lipstick! But she's still feminine. I have no problem with a strong woman, but I do have a problem with women who think that looking like a man makes one strong. Palin nailed this one, and she looked the part.

The Obama Tidal Wave

I'm feeling more and more like there's no way John McCain can beat Barak Obama. Last night at the Democratic National Convention, Obama spoke to a crowd of 80,000 people at Invesco Field in Denver, CO. It was electric. I certainly don't agree with Obama on a litany of issues, but he is the single most gifted politician I have ever witnessed. The man can deliver a speech. He is a force like none other in the political realm, and it's hard for me to see how anyone can knock this guy off course.

McCain, in an interesting move, has asked a woman named Sara Palin to be his Vice President. I like Palin, at least what I know of her. I like that McCain picked her. I love it that she decided to keep her Downs Syndrome child instead of abort him. I like knowing that the Vice President can relate to what it's like to have a special needs child. I really like this pick. But...

...It will not be enough. Obama is just too polished... too genunie... too good at being extremely like-able to be unseated. McCain has taken a huge risk on this one, and I genuinely hope it pans out. As much as I respect Obama's talents and intellect, I simply can't vote for him because of some of his radical views (particularly on the military and abortion). I actually like Obama more than McCain, but I think McCain and Palin will be better for the country.

Lord help us as we wade through this fascinating political season!

It's that Time of Year!!

LSU kicks off its season in 3 days, and I couldn't be more excited! There are huge questions at Quarterback, but I'm confident the Tigers have enough talent at that position to find someone who can make things happen.

A few players to watch on this year's team:

1. Ricky Jean-Francois - Just because his name sounds like that of a Parisian hairdresser doesn't mean the guy's not a beast. This guy will make you forget all about Glen Dorsey. He's big, fast and aggressive. Watch for him to be extremely disruptive to any and offense the Tigers face all year.
2. Brandon Lafell - All the tools to be a great reciever. If he can catch the ball consistently, he'll be a first round draft pick by the time it's all over.
3. Chad Jones - By year's end he will be thought of as one of the best safeties in the country. He's only a sophmore.
4. Trindon Holliday - The fastest man in college football. Might also be the shortetst man in college football. Despite his diminutive stature, Holliday won't hesitate to run a kick back on you. He's just like that. Dynamite every time he touches the ball!
5. Richard Murphy - Every time I've seen this guy get some playing time, he's looked fantastic. He tore it up in Spring practice, and continued to do well this Summer. Look for Murphy to give the team an explosive spark in the running game.
   
6. Special Teams - The Tigers will be looking for an edge in every game this year because their QB's are unproven. My guess is that they've put a lot of work into special teams this year to help create an edge that will give our young, unproven QB's an advantage. We'll see!!

Check out this video. It will give you a passionate desire to watch LSU football.

IBC and Women

My old church, Irving Bible Church, has gotten a lot of press lately due to their recent position on women in ministry. The Dallas Morning News wrote an article about the issue as well. Many people have asked me about IBC and this issue, and all I can say is that I love IBC and think very highly of the staff and elders. I wasn't a part of the decision making process, but I was at IBC when this issue was discussed, and when the elders came to their stance on this issue. Although I don't have a problem with the stance that IBC has taken, I do understand that this is an issue where many Godly people hold many different opinions. I am one of those people who can see both sides of this one, but I trust the process that the leadership of IBC went through to get to the stance that they have taken, and I have no problem with it.

This Sunday Jackie Roese preached at IBC. I have heard Jackie preach before, and I think she is truly gifted. She and her husband, Steve, are wonderful people who deeply love Jesus. They are unique and sometimes misunderstood, but I trust them, love them, and support them fully.

The most disheartening thing about this to me is that folks on both sides of this issue are using IBC as a battleground to air their theological beefs. I find this extremely distasteful. This is a very polarizing issue, but it is not an essential aspect of Christianity. This is not the Virgin Birth of the Diety of Christ. There should be grace and liberty exercised with this issue, and I see a frustrating lack of both. It saddens me.

This is an issue that should be honestly discussed, but it is becoming an issue that is dividing God's people. I find that very troubling. That's my 2 cents.

Autism: The Musical

Since we just moved, and we signed up with a new cable company, we're receiving a few free months of what they like to call "Premium Channels."  We're now able to watch HBO, Showtime, and a few other channels that we've never had access to before.  It's kind of a nice little perk!

A couple of nights ago while I was channel surfing to find something interesting I noticed a show on HBO called "Autism: The Musical."  Just what we needed, right?  Another serious issue relegated to the status of "Musical."  Don't get me wrong, I like the occasional musical, but this genre can sometimes make serious situations seem like trite scenes from Grease.  That's the last thing I want to see when it comes to Autism.  Out of curiosity I decided to record this show.

I watched it tonight.  It's incredible.  It's actually a documentary about a lady who had a dream to teach Autistic kids how to perform a musical on stage, for an audience.  It details the lives and struggles of the children who play the main characters in the musical, and it tells both wonderful and excruciating stories about their lives with Autism.  What a wonderful, terrible, beautiful, horrible film.  It both breaks your heart and inspires your spirit.  I highly recommend it, and I fully realize that it may have particular interest and emotional weight for me due to the fact that I have an Autistic child.  Who knows, it may not hit you the same way.

If you have the chance, check it out.

You can read more about it here.

Here's a clip from the film:

Fun Movie Memories

Had a great visit the other day with my old friend and distinguished professor, Dr. Kreider. He'll probably hate the fact that I'm mentioning him here, but he's sort of old and grumpy, so he's prone to hate things without my help. Anyhow, he reminded me about two of my favorite movie experiences of all time. Dr. Kreider was with me for both experiences, so he can vouch for the following details.

The first movie memory happened when Kreider and I decided to go see this new science fiction movie that was just beginning to generate some buzz. We sat calmly, not really expecting much from the film, and were slowly transported into one of the most amazing films I can remember seeing at the theatre. It was one of those great feelings you sometimes get at the movies when you meander upon something that revolutionizes the way you look at things. I remember feeling that way when I saw E.T. as a kid, and even more when I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Both films hit the theatres with relatively little fanfare, but both changed the way we looked at life.

In the same way, when Kreider and I stumbled upon The Matrix on that fateful night, we enthusiastically fell down the rabbit hole into an amaizing world of technology and special effects, theology and philisophy, and jaw-dropping action and adventure. All the things we were discussing in pursuit of understanding culture and theology were being played out on screen in this epic film. It was like we were watching the modern era give way to something else... something we couldn't define, but something that was indescribably resonant.

It was a cool experience, and it was only fitting for both of us that we witnessed this film together. It's just the kind of experience every student should have with his teacher, and every teacher should have with his pupil. It's not often that both encounter something fresh together. Very cool!

The second movie experience was much less cool. We went to a late showing of the film Magnolia. I've heard from many folks who really liked this movie, but Kreider and I were less than impressed. It wasn't so much that the movie was bad, but that the experience was totally horrid.

There was a constant barrage of noise, moving people, and, well, Kreider's snoring, and it had to be one of the worst movie watching experiences of my life. An entire group of folks sat behind us and barked orders at the screen like drill seargent's at boot camp. It seemed like a steady stream of people had to go to the bathroom, and they seemed to stagger themselves so that they left at every key moment of the film. How they knew to plan this is beyond me, but I could swear they were doing it just to make Kreider and me crazy.

If that weren't enough, I think Kreider just gave up about half way through the movie and decided to doze off like grandpa after Thanksgiving turkey. It wasn't long before I began to notice a chainsaw-like snore eminating from the seat to my right. Hey, I should have known better. Give the guy a comfortable seat, a tub of popcorn, and an incredibly boring film, and who can blame him for snoring like my drunk uncle after a bender?

Anyway, those two experiences were quite memorable and I just thought I'd share them with you. No point whatsoever. No spiritual crumbs to chew on... just a couple of friends at the movies. Kreider! Let's do it again soon!!

Black Monday

I'm finding out about a phenomenon I've heard about for years, but have never really experienced. Preachers call it "Black Monday", and I can already tell I'm going to have to fight it. It refers to the depression and let down associated with preaching in front of people on Sunday and feeling the "rush" of a week of activity that culminates on Sunday, ends on Sunday night and zaps the life right out of you. I remember having the same feeling when I played football and we'd end the week with a game. The next day was always kind of blah, and I never thought much about it as a young man. As a man in his thirties, I'm starting to think about it.

In an article called "Birthing a Sermon", John Ortberg suggests that sermon preparation and delivery is like giving birth. Although this metaphor is very extreme (it's actually ridiculous, but I still like his point, so don't email me barking about this metaphor), it describes well the kinds of feelings involved in planning and executing a sermon. In the article Ortberg writes, "Sermon preparation is a complex process. When I think about constructing a message, I use the metaphor of having a baby, because I believe the stages are quite similar. There's the initial conception, which is often quite a lot of fun. Then there is gestation, which is increasingly difficult. Next, there's the delivery, which can be a combination of euphoria and intense pain. And finally, there are some post-delivery details." What Ortberg fails to point out is the post-partum depression associated with sermon preparation and delivery.

Today has been a difficult day.  I had trouble waking up and have felt somewhat funky all day.  Thoughts are hard to hold captive, and my energy level is very low.  In the back of my mind I've experienced feelings of dread and despair.  All I can chalk it up to is that there was a lot of build up and excitement for me on Sunday, and when it's all over it's kind of anti-climactic.  

Just thought I'd give you some insight into the mind of a pastor.  I'm better now, but there is some residual lull plaguing me still.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.