Thursday, May 06, 2010
Been a long time, Baby
OK, it's been way too long since I've been here. For whatever reason I decided to open up the laptop and dust off Cajun Roast Beef like an old book that's been sitting on the shelf of an abandoned cabin. I'm not sure why I stopped blogging for so long. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am just busy these days and don't have the time to spend on contemplating "Life, Religion and Stuff" like I used to. Truth be told, I probably didn't have the time then either, but it seemed more important to vent to my online journal than take care of the business at hand. That is no longer the case.
Another reason I stopped blogging is because, honestly, it felt like I was trying to be self-important. It was kind of like saying, "Look, everyone, I've got something cool to say! You should read my thoughts because they're good." While I'd like to believe that I'm capable of some pretty good thoughts, it was beginning to feel weird to consistently publish them to the web. I really felt like I was looking for some confirmation that I could think well or write well or be clever. I'm a people pleaser, and this sort of became my outlet to feel like someone liked me. Sad, but true.
The other reason I haven't posted in a while is because I'm not as creative as I used to be. I don't know whether it's parenting 5 children or running a church or what, but my brain just doesn't have that same spark anymore. Plus, I spend so much creative energy on sermon preparation that there's nothing left for my blog. Sometimes - and I know some of you won't believe this - I just don't have anything to say (or write).
What I've come to realize lately is that I really like to write. Some people like to hunt or play video games or collect memorabilia, but I like to write. It's an outlet, and it's just something that's in me. So I'm going to keep posting here and there because it's something I like to do. I won't do it as much because I'm busy and I don't want to get caught in a self-important trap, but I will try to post something regularly.