Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sinus Surgery Notes (Not for the faint of heart)

Surgery wasn't as bad as I thought. I was more frightened than Bevo at an Aggie pep rally, but my fears were, as usual, misplaced. Who would've thought that getting the "Full Monty" on my sinuses would turn out to be a relatively easy procedure? Well, it was, and now all I can do is pray that this turns out to be the remedy I've been needing to feel better.

I will tell you that Monday afternoon was a little bit miserable. I can't have you guys thinking that I didn't suffer at least a little bit through this process! After arriving home at about 2pm, I collapsed into bed like a tranquilized bear. I was out of it! In my stupor, I kept noticing something that didn't quite feel right, but I couldn't tell if it was real or just a morphine induced dream.

I'd fall asleep, and then wake up suddenly coughing. Apparently I was choking on my own blood, and it eventually caused me to stumble out of bed and head toward the bathroom. I leaned my head over the sink, and experienced something I can only refer to as "blood faucet". That's the phenomenon that occurs when blood so rapidly flows from your nose and mouth that it looks like an open faucet. It was kind of like Psycho meets Raging Bull, but there was also something kind of cool about it, in a gross sort of way.

Anyway, I experience blood faucet at least twice a day when I "flush" my sinuses (a proceedure whereby I spray a generous amount of saline up my nose until, that's right, the faucet turns on). In a wierd kind of way, this disgusting process has been a good one. With each flush I sense that I'm healing and becoming free of this problem. In a wierd way I'm reminded of how the blood of Christ heals me and sets me free. I know, it's a gross way to get a point across, but sometimes you can't really heal until you've gone through the gross stuff.

10 comments:

r! said...

so basically all you had as was a big booger? you couldn't just stick a finger up there and pull that sucker out?

Steve Hayes said...

Yes, Robert, all I had was a big booger. Another brilliant observation from the Aggie contingent!

r! said...

you strike low!

docsavage_ said...

Steve - You remember that Wall of Fame booger collection that was smeered across the wall of Tudor Hall at Louisiana College? Karma.

Steve Hayes said...

Karma indeed! You're freaking hillarious! I'd hate to see the kind of Karma you're headed for after all of those "anonymous" works of art you left in the Tudor bathrooms!

docsavage_ said...

Maybe there's a loophole for artistic freedom.

Steve Hayes said...

Sheesh, you lawyers are always looking for loopholes.

Tempi said...

I think I'm out of place here. this is no place for a girl.

ryan said...

I think the blood faucet would make a great party trick...or perhaps an object lesson at a junior high Bible study.

spyder said...

THE WALL OF BOOGERS! Do remember that the wall of fame booger collection was actually made by our freshman class president, and very classy guy, Eric Hankins? Now, referring to the art in the bathroom, I remember a polaroid coming from Michigan of a piece of art called "The Spray that Missed." Who remembers that. Okay, I just joined here, so probably nobody is reading this, and I'm a little glad.